Short answer: You can keep ashes at home, bury them, scatter them where it is allowed, or place them in memorial keepsakes. There is usually no deadline. Check local rules and landowner permission before scattering. Burial at sea has federal rules, and airlines and TSA have rules for travel with cremated remains.
What are the main options?
- Keep: in the container from the provider or an urn. There is generally no deadline.
- Bury: in a cemetery plot or niche, or on private land with permission.
- Scatter: on land or water where it is permitted, with the owner's permission.
- Memorialize: keepsake urns, jewelry or a tree. Take your time choosing.
- Divide: some families share ashes among relatives.
Our full guide covers each option, with questions to ask.
- What to do with ashes
The complete guide.
- Cremation vs burial
Compare the options.
What rules should I know?
- At sea: the EPA's general permit requires cremated remains to be placed at least three nautical miles from shore, with no plastic containers that float, and a report to the EPA within 30 days.
- Lakes and rivers: no federal permit, but states may have rules. Ask the state environmental or health agency.
- Flying: TSA allows cremated remains in carry-on and checked bags. Use a lightweight container, such as wood or plastic, that can be screened, and check your airline's rules.
- Private or public land: get permission from the owner or the agency that manages it.
Frequently asked questions
Is there a time limit for deciding what to do with ashes?
Generally no. Many families keep them for months or years before deciding. Ask your provider if a cemetery or niche has its own rules.
Can I scatter ashes anywhere?
No. Rules vary by place. Get the owner's permission on private land, check local and state rules, and follow federal rules at sea.
Can I take ashes on a plane?
TSA says yes, in carry-on or checked bags, with a container that can be screened. Some airlines have their own restrictions, so check ahead.
How do I notify banks and close accounts after a death?
Begin by contacting each bank with a certified death certificate and asking what they need to retitle or close the accounts. Many banks have a department for deceased accounts and will explain the paperwork. Do not close accounts until you know whether the estate needs them open for bills or deposits. Joint accounts and accounts with named beneficiaries are often handled differently. What to do: make a list of accounts, notify each institution in writing, ask for the process in writing, and consult the estate attorney before paying debts from personal funds.
What happens to social media and digital accounts after someone passes away?
Many online platforms offer ways to memorialize or close an account when the person has passed away, and policies differ from one service to the next. Some require a death certificate and proof of relationship, and some allow a designated legacy contact if the person set one up. Email, cloud storage, and photos may hold important records and memories. What to do: make a list of accounts you know about, check each platform's help page for deceased user requests, download photos and files before closing anything, and avoid accessing accounts in ways that violate the terms of service or state law.
What can I do with ashes later if I am not ready to decide?
There is no deadline for deciding what to do with ashes, and many families keep them at home for months or years before choosing. Common options include burial in a cemetery plot or niche, placing them in a columbarium, scattering in a meaningful place, keeping them in an urn, or dividing them among relatives. Some people choose keepsakes such as jewelry. What to do: keep the ashes in a labeled, sealed container, write down your loved one's wishes if known, and let the decision wait until the family can agree. Check local rules before scattering.
How do we handle the first anniversary and holidays after a loss?
The first anniversary and holidays can bring strong feelings, and it helps to plan rather than hope the day passes quietly. Some families keep a tradition, light a candle, visit the cemetery, share stories, or do something kind in the person's name. Others prefer a quiet day. It is normal for grief to return around meaningful dates. What to do: decide ahead of time what feels right, tell friends and family what you need, give yourself permission to change plans, and reach out to a counselor or support group if the day feels overwhelming.
What is a good order for handling an estate after a death?
A common order is to secure the home and property, obtain death certificates, locate the will, notify key agencies and institutions, and then work with an attorney on probate if needed. Pay urgent bills such as mortgage and insurance, keep records, and avoid distributing assets until debts and taxes are addressed. Each state has its own rules and deadlines, and the process often takes longer than families expect. What to do: make a simple checklist, keep all receipts in one folder, and consult an estate attorney early to confirm your responsibilities. This is general information, not legal advice.
Who needs a certified copy of the death certificate?
Several institutions typically ask for a certified copy of the death certificate, and keeping a list helps you order the right number. Common requests come from life insurance companies, banks, pension and retirement plan administrators, the Social Security Administration, motor vehicle offices, property and title transfers, and brokerage firms. Some will accept a copy for notification only. What to do: make a list of the institutions you must contact, ask each whether they need an original or accept a copy, and keep the certified copies in a labeled folder so you can send them out in order.