Short answer: Planning ahead means deciding what you want, comparing prices from more than one provider, writing it down, and telling your family. You do not have to pay in advance. Federal rules give you the right to itemized prices and to choose only the goods and services you want.
General information only, not legal or financial advice. Rules vary by state; confirm details with a licensed professional.
Why plan ahead?
Funeral decisions are often made in a day or two, while people are grieving. A plan, even a rough one, takes weight off the people you love. It also lets you compare prices calmly, and makes sure your wishes are known.
You can plan for yourself or help a parent or partner plan. You can change your mind later. Nothing here has to be done today.
Step 1: What kind of farewell do you want?
Start with the big question: burial, cremation, or another option such as green burial, water cremation (where legal) or body donation. Then think about the gathering: a traditional funeral, a memorial later, a celebration of life, or no service at all.
- Direct cremation: cremation without a service, with a gathering held later if you want one.
- Cremation with a service: a viewing or ceremony before or after cremation.
- Burial: a funeral, a graveside service, and a cemetery plot or niche.
- Other options: green burial, water cremation, body donation.
Our guides compare these options in detail.
- Cremation vs burial
Compare costs and choices.
- Green burial and water cremation
Newer options.
- Body donation
How it works.
- Direct cremation
A simple option.
Step 2: Write down what matters to you
- Burial, cremation or another option
- Where you want to be buried, or where ashes should go
- Type of service, place, and who should officiate
- Music, readings, photographs
- Who should be asked to speak
- Charity or donation preferences
- Anything you do not want
Do not put your only copy of these wishes in a will or safe deposit box that might not be opened until after the funeral. Give copies to the people who will act on them.
Step 3: Know your rights and compare prices
The FTC Funeral Rule applies to funeral providers in the United States. In plain terms, it gives you these rights:
- You can get prices by phone, and a general price list in person, which you can keep and take home.
- You can choose only the goods and services you want, rather than a package.
- You do not have to buy a casket from the funeral home; the provider must accept one you bought elsewhere.
- Embalming is not required by law in every case; the provider must tell you when it is required by law.
- A provider that offers direct cremation must offer an alternative container, not only a casket.
Call at least two or three providers and ask for the same list of items. Prices differ between providers in the same city. Our cost estimator and cost guide show typical national ranges, and our city pages can help you find licensed providers nearby.
- Funeral cost guide
What things typically cost.
- Cost estimator
Interactive estimate.
- How to choose a funeral home
Questions to ask.
Step 4: Think about how to pay
You have several choices: pay at the time of need from savings or insurance, set money aside in an account for the purpose, buy life insurance, or pre-pay a provider. Pre-paying is not required. If you consider it, read the contract carefully and ask:
- What happens to the money if I move or the provider closes?
- Is the plan refundable or transferable?
- Which items are guaranteed, and which prices may change?
- Where is the money held, and who can access it?
Rules for pre-need contracts differ by state. For a decision with this much money involved, consider asking a licensed professional you trust to review it.
- Funeral pre-planning
Pros, cons and questions.
- Financial assistance
If money is tight.
- Veterans benefits
For those who served.
Step 5: Gather the documents your family will need
- Full legal name, date and place of birth, and Social Security number.
- Parents' names, including mother's maiden name; some death certificates ask for it.
- Military discharge papers if you served.
- Will, insurance and account information, and any pre-arrangement contract.
- A short list of people to notify, with phone numbers.
Our end-of-life checklist has a longer list you can print.
- End-of-life checklist
Documents, wishes and who to tell.
Step 6: Tell your family
A plan only works if someone knows about it. Tell at least two people where your wishes and documents are. Choose a quiet time, and keep it simple: what you want, where the papers are, and who you have named to help. It is normal for this to feel awkward. Many families say the conversation was a relief.
If you are planning with a parent, start with what matters to them rather than with costs.
What happens when the time comes?
- Death is pronounced by a hospice nurse, a hospital, or emergency responders.
- Your family contacts the provider named in your plan, or compares providers if there is no plan.
- The provider arranges transport and helps with the death certificate and permits.
- Your family follows your written wishes and holds the service.
- Your family begins the paperwork; our after-death checklist guides them.
- What to do when a loved one passes away
The first 24 hours.
- After-death checklist
From the first day to the first year.
Common mistakes to avoid
- Deciding on the first call without comparing prices.
- Buying a package that includes items you do not want.
- Paying in advance without reading the cancellation and transfer terms.
- Keeping wishes in a place no one can reach in time.
- Planning alone and not telling anyone.
This guide is general information, not legal or financial advice. If you need a quote from licensed providers in your area, you can ask for one; it is free and there is no obligation.
Related services
- Funeral pre-planning: plan ahead without pressurePre-planning records your wishes; prepaying pays in advance. Learn the difference, the questions to ask before you sign, and a simple checklist to get started.See this service →
- Traditional funeral services: steps, choices and costsHow a traditional funeral works: visitation, service, procession and burial. What is optional, what drives cost, and your rights when buying a casket.See this service →
- Cremation services: options, process and costHow cremation works, cremation cost, how direct cremation differs from cremation with a service, what prices include, and your rights under the FTC Funeral Rule.See this service →
Frequently asked questions
Do I have to pre-pay to plan ahead?
No. You can write down your wishes and compare prices without paying anything. Pre-paying is optional, and contracts vary by state.
Can I change my plan later?
Yes. Update your written wishes whenever you like. If you have a pre-paid contract, ask about changes and refunds before you sign.
Who should have a copy?
At least two trusted people, such as your executor and a close family member. Provide copies to your provider if you have chosen one.
Is the guide free?
Yes. The full guide is on this page and free to print. The email is an optional extra: a copy sent to you and a weekly checklist.
What is funeral pre-planning and why do it?
Funeral pre-planning means recording your wishes and, if you choose, making arrangements and payments ahead of time. It spares your family from making many decisions while grieving, and it lets you compare prices calmly. You can write your wishes without paying anything, or purchase a pre-need contract with a provider. There is no right age to begin, and a plan can be changed whenever your wishes or circumstances change. What to do: start by writing down the type of service you want, any music, readings, or people to notify, and where important documents are, then share a copy with your family.
Who should I tell about my funeral wishes?
Tell the people most likely to carry them out, such as your spouse, adult children, a close friend, or the person named to make decisions. Share where the written plan is kept and any contract details. It also helps to tell your doctor, attorney, or clergy if relevant. Avoid keeping the plan only in a safe deposit box or locked file that no one can open quickly. What to do: have a calm conversation with two or three trusted people, give each a copy of your plan, and update them whenever your wishes or contracts change.
What documents should I gather so my family is prepared?
Gather the key documents in one place and let a trusted person know where they are. Useful items include a will, advance directive, power of attorney, insurance policies, a list of bank accounts, pension and Social Security information, military discharge papers if applicable, and any pre-need contract. A list of online accounts and passwords stored securely also helps. What to do: make a simple folder or binder, add contact details for your attorney and financial advisor, and review it once a year. This is general information, not legal advice, so consult an attorney for your specific situation.
What should I look for in a pre-need funeral contract?
A pre-need contract is an agreement to buy funeral goods and services in advance, and it is worth reading closely before you sign. Check what exactly is covered, whether prices are locked in, what happens to the money, and whether the contract can be cancelled or refunded. State laws about how the funds are protected vary. Ask whether the contract is revocable or irrevocable. What to ask: ask for a copy to take home, ask what happens if the provider closes or you move, and consider having a trusted advisor or attorney review it.
What happens to a prepaid funeral plan if I move?
Whether a prepaid funeral plan can follow you depends on the contract and the provider, so check before you move. Some plans are portable and the funds can be transferred to a new provider, while others are tied to a single funeral home. A cancellation or transfer fee may apply, and rules vary by state. Keep the paperwork where your family can find it. What to ask: ask the provider whether the contract is transferable, what fees apply, whether you can receive a refund, and how the funds would be sent to a different funeral home.
How do I write down my funeral wishes?
Writing down your funeral wishes is simple, and it helps your family act with confidence. Include whether you prefer burial or cremation, the type of service, any songs or readings, who should speak, and where you would like your remains placed. Add a few lines on budget and any people you want notified. A written note is usually not legally binding in every state, so consider also naming a trusted person. What to do: write it in plain language, sign and date it, keep copies with your family, and review it every few years.