Short answer: People use different terms to describe grief, such as anticipatory, prolonged, disenfranchised, traumatic and cumulative grief. These are descriptions, not diagnoses. Grief often comes in waves and can include sadness, anger and confusion. If it keeps you from daily life or you have thoughts of suicide, reach out to a professional or call 988.
This page offers general information and cannot replace professional care. If you are in crisis, call or text 988 (US Suicide and Crisis Lifeline).
What does grief usually look like?
The American Psychological Association describes grief as the anguish experienced after significant loss, often including distress, yearning, confusion and worry about the future. It looks different for each person. It can show up in your body, your sleep, your concentration and your relationships.
- Waves of sadness, numbness, anger, guilt or relief, sometimes in the same hour.
- Trouble sleeping, eating or concentrating, especially in the early weeks.
- Strong reactions to reminders such as songs, places, birthdays and holidays.
- Feeling better for a while and then worse again.
If you are in crisis or thinking about suicide
Call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org. Veterans: dial 988, then press 1. In an emergency, call 911. See all crisis resources on our crisis page.
What are the different kinds of grief?
These labels describe experiences. Only a licensed professional can assess your situation, and we cannot diagnose.
| Term | In plain language | What can help |
|---|---|---|
| Anticipatory grief | Grieving before a death, such as during a long illness or when a loved one is in hospice. Often mixed with caregiving stress. | Talking with the care team or a counselor, a support group for caregivers, and making practical plans such as pre-planning. |
| Prolonged or complicated grief | Grief that stays intense for a long time and keeps getting in the way of daily life. Professionals use these terms differently. | A conversation with a licensed mental health professional, who can assess what is going on. |
| Disenfranchised grief | Grief that others do not recognize or that society gives little room for, such as the loss of an ex-partner, a friend, a pet, a coworker, or a loss after miscarriage. | Finding people who acknowledge the loss, a loss-specific group, and creating your own ritual or memorial. |
| Traumatic loss | A death that was sudden, violent or frightening, where distressing images or fear may follow the grief. | A professional who works with trauma and loss. The NCTSN explains traumatic grief in children. |
| Cumulative grief | Several losses close together or over time, so grief from earlier losses can resurface. | Pacing yourself, support from people who know the full picture, and professional support if it becomes overwhelming. |
What signs suggest it is time to talk with a professional?
Many people grieve without therapy and do well with time, family and community. Consider reaching out to a doctor or licensed mental health professional if you notice any of the following.
- Severe or distressing symptoms that have lasted two weeks or more, such as trouble sleeping, changes in appetite, difficulty concentrating, or loss of interest in things you usually enjoy (NIMH).
- You cannot manage work, caring for others or basic self-care.
- You are using alcohol or other substances to get through the day.
- You feel stuck, numb or unable to accept the loss for a long time.
- You feel intense guilt or blame that does not ease.
- You are having thoughts of ending your life or of joining the person who has passed.
Thoughts of suicide
Call or text 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org any time. Veterans: dial 988, then press 1. If you are in immediate danger, call 911. The APA notes that intense grief can include suicidal thoughts. You are not alone and help is available.
What can I do next?
- Find a licensed therapist
How to check a license and what to ask.
- Support groups
National organizations and how to choose a group.
- Children and teens
If a young person in your family is grieving.
- After-death checklist
Practical steps, at your pace.
Frequently asked questions
How long should grief last?
There is no set timeline. Many people find grief changes in intensity over time and returns around anniversaries. If it keeps you from living your life, talk with a professional.
Is it normal to feel relief after a death?
Yes. Relief is common after a long illness or a difficult relationship, and it often sits alongside sadness or guilt.
Is it normal to see or hear the person who has passed?
Brief experiences like this are reported by some grieving people. If they are frequent, frightening or last a long time, mention them to your doctor or a licensed professional.
Can you tell me whether I have complicated grief?
No. We provide general information and cannot diagnose. A licensed professional can assess your situation.
When should I seek professional help for grief?
Consider professional help when grief feels unmanageable, lasts with the same intensity for a long time, or interferes with daily life, work, or relationships. Warning signs include being unable to function, using alcohol or drugs to cope, intense guilt, or ongoing difficulty accepting the loss more than about a year after. Persistent, disabling grief is sometimes called prolonged grief and can be treated. What to do: talk with your doctor or a licensed therapist who has experience with grief, and tell someone you trust how you are feeling so they can support you.
Where can I find a grief support group?
Grief support groups are offered by hospices, hospitals, houses of worship, community centers, and nonprofit organizations, and many are free. Hospices often welcome bereaved families even if their loved one was not a hospice patient. Online groups and phone support can help if you cannot travel. Some groups focus on specific losses, such as a spouse, a child, or a loss by suicide. What to ask: ask the group about its schedule, format, cost, and whether it is open to new members, and try more than one group to find a good fit.
What does normal grief look like?
Normal grief can include sadness, anger, guilt, numbness, trouble sleeping, changes in appetite, and difficulty concentrating, and it often comes in waves. There is no single right way or timeline to grieve, and people in the same family may respond differently. Cultural and personal factors shape how grief is shown. Many people notice that the intensity gradually softens, even when the loss stays with them. What to do: keep simple routines, eat and rest as you can, lean on supportive people, and consider speaking with a counselor if you feel stuck or worried about how you are coping.
What is family grief therapy and how can it help?
Family grief therapy is counseling in which relatives work with a trained therapist to understand and support each other after a loss. It can help when family members grieve in different ways, when communication has broken down, or when children are struggling. A therapist helps create a safe space to share feelings and decide how to move forward together. Sessions may be in person or online. What to ask: ask a prospective therapist about their training in grief and family work, their fees, whether insurance is accepted, and how many sessions are typically recommended.
How can I support a friend who is grieving?
The best way to support a grieving friend is to show up, listen, and offer specific help rather than saying you will do anything. Practical gestures such as bringing a meal, running an errand, or sitting with them are often welcomed. Avoid comparing losses or offering reasons for the death. Keep in touch in the weeks and months afterward, when others may have moved on. What to do: send a short note, offer a specific task, say the person's name and share a memory, and check in again after the funeral and on difficult dates.
What if I am having thoughts of harming myself after a loss?
If you are having thoughts of harming yourself, please reach out for help right now, because support is available at any hour. In the United States, you can call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, or call 911 if you are in immediate danger. Strong feelings after a loss can be overwhelming, and you do not have to face them alone. What to do: tell a trusted person near you, stay with someone if you can, and contact a mental health professional or your doctor as soon as you are able.