Short answer: List every cost in one place, from provider fees to flowers, the cemetery and the reception. Get written prices before you agree, record who pays, and compare the total with your limit. This worksheet is blank on purpose; use our cost guide and estimator for benchmarks.
This page offers general information and cannot replace professional care. If you are in crisis, call or text 988 (US Suicide and Crisis Lifeline).
How do I use this worksheet?
Copy the tables into a spreadsheet or print this page. We have left every amount blank on purpose, because costs vary widely by place, provider and choices. For typical ranges, see our funeral cost guide, our cremation cost guide and the funeral cost estimator.
- Write your overall spending limit first.
- Ask each provider for an itemized written price list.
- Fill in the estimate column as you gather quotes.
- Fill in the actual column as bills arrive.
- Mark who is paying and whether the estate may reimburse them.
You have the right to a price list
Under the FTC Funeral Rule, US funeral providers must give you an itemized price list when you ask in person, and must quote prices by phone. You may choose only the items you want, with some exceptions.
What costs go to the funeral home or cremation provider?
| Item | Estimate | Actual | Paid by |
|---|---|---|---|
| Basic services fee | |||
| Transfer of the person's body to the provider | |||
| Embalming (optional in most cases) | |||
| Other preparation, dressing, cosmetics | |||
| Casket, shroud or cremation container | |||
| Use of facilities for viewing or visitation | |||
| Use of facilities and staff for the service | |||
| Hearse or transport vehicle | |||
| Cremation fee, if charged separately | |||
| Urn or temporary container | |||
| Certified death certificates | |||
| Permits and other fees |
Direct cremation and burial packages are priced differently. Our direct cremation guide explains the options.
What costs are outside the funeral home?
| Item | Estimate | Actual | Paid by |
|---|---|---|---|
| Cemetery plot or niche | |||
| Opening and closing the grave | |||
| Burial vault or grave liner, if required | |||
| Headstone, marker or plaque | |||
| Flowers and decor | |||
| Obituary or newspaper notice | |||
| Officiant or celebrant honorarium | |||
| Musicians or soloists | |||
| Printed programs and cards | |||
| Reception venue and food | |||
| Livestream or recording | |||
| Travel and lodging for family | |||
| Clothing and personal items | |||
| Memorial gifts or keepsakes |
How do I compare prices and avoid surprises?
- Ask for the general price list from at least two providers
- Ask what is included in any package, and what is extra
- Ask whether you may bring your own casket, urn or itemsRules and policies vary.
- Ask for a written statement of services before you sign
- Ask about third-party costs the provider pays on your behalf, such as cemetery fees or flowers
- Keep every receipt in one folder
- Do not feel pressured to decide on the spot
Our guide on choosing a funeral home has more questions to ask.
How do we cover the costs?
Ways families pay include savings, the estate, life insurance, pre-paid plans, family contributions, and in some cases veterans or other benefits and assistance programs. Rules for estate payments vary, so keep receipts and ask an attorney if you are unsure.
| Source | Amount | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| Personal savings | ||
| Estate funds | ||
| Life insurance | ||
| Pre-paid funeral plan | ||
| Family contributions | ||
| Veterans or other benefits | ||
| Assistance programs |
See our guides on financial assistance and veterans benefits for where to look.
What are common hidden or forgotten costs?
Families are sometimes surprised by costs that are not part of the main package. Add these to your worksheet so they do not catch you off guard.
- Cemetery fees for opening and closing the grave, or for a marker
- Charges for weekend or holiday services
- Extra certified copies of the death certificate
- Fees for clergy, musicians or a venue
- Tips or gifts you wish to give
- Shipping or transport of the person's body over long distances
- Cost of travel and lodging for relatives
- Taxes or card processing fees
Ask each provider, "Is there anything else I might be charged for?" and write down the answer.
How do we keep spending in line with our wishes?
Set a ceiling and a "comfort" amount, below which you feel no worry. Review the worksheet each day and compare it to your plan. If you are over, look first at the items that matter least to the family.
Simple choices are often just as meaningful: a modest container, a service at a place of worship or home, a family-made program, flowers from a garden, or a gathering with food from friends.
Spending more is not a measure of love. Many families say what they remember most is who was there, not what was bought.
How do we share the worksheet and keep it private?
Keep one master copy in a shared document that only trusted family members can edit. Money is a tender subject, and a single source of truth avoids confusion about who owes or paid what.
- Name one person to update the master copy
- Record each payment with the date and method
- Keep receipts and statements in one folder
- Do not post account or card numbers in group chats
- Review the sheet together before final payments
After everything is paid, keep the worksheet with the estate papers. It may help later with tax questions or reimbursement, and an attorney or accountant can tell you what applies.
Frequently asked questions
Why are there no prices on this worksheet?
Costs vary a lot by location, provider and choices, so we leave the lines blank. Our cost guide and estimator give benchmarks.
Do I have to buy a casket from the funeral home?
In the US, providers must accept a casket you buy elsewhere under the FTC Funeral Rule, and cannot charge you a fee for it. Ask the provider about their process.
Is embalming required?
It is not required in most situations, though some providers or circumstances may call for it or for refrigeration. Ask for the reason in writing.
Can I get help paying?
Some families qualify for help through local, state, veterans or charitable programs. See our financial help pages.
What if my siblings disagree about funeral arrangements?
When siblings disagree, the most helpful step is to slow down, listen to each person, and look for shared priorities. Start with what your loved one wanted, if they left any wishes, and which parts of the plan matter most to each person. A neutral third party such as clergy, a funeral director, or a family counselor can help. Some state laws also set an order of who has authority. What to do: hold one calm conversation, write down points of agreement, and consider splitting the decisions so each person leads one part. This is general information, not legal advice.
Who has the legal right to make funeral decisions?
The legal right to make funeral decisions usually belongs to a person named in a written document, or otherwise to the closest relatives in an order set by state law. A common order is a named agent, spouse, adult children, parents, then siblings, though rules vary by state. A will may name someone, but wills are sometimes read after the funeral. What to do: look for written instructions or a named agent, ask the funeral home which order applies in your state, and consult an attorney if relatives disagree or there is no clear person.
How do I plan a funeral from far away?
You can plan a funeral from a distance by working with a local funeral home by phone and email, and asking one person nearby to be your eyes and ears. Many tasks, such as signing authorizations, choosing options, and paying, can be done electronically. Ask for a written list of choices and prices. Livestreaming can help relatives who cannot travel. What to do: designate a local friend or relative to meet the provider if needed, ask the funeral home about electronic signatures, and book travel after the service date is confirmed.
How much should I give or what should I bring to a funeral?
There is no required amount, and a card with a heartfelt note is always appropriate. Common choices include flowers, a donation to a charity listed in the obituary, a contribution toward expenses if the family has asked, or food brought to the family home. Cash gifts are customary in some communities, and local customs differ. What to do: check the obituary for the family's wishes, give what fits your budget, and consider offering your time, such as running an errand or helping with the reception, which can mean as much as a gift.
When should I send thank-you notes after a funeral?
There is no strict deadline for thank-you notes after a funeral, and most families send them within a few weeks to a few months as they are able. A short handwritten note naming the gift or kindness is plenty. Printed cards are also acceptable, and a phone call or message works for close friends. People understand that the family is grieving. What to do: keep a list of gifts, flowers, and helpers as they arrive, write a few notes at a time, and ask a relative to help if the task feels heavy.
How should families split funeral costs fairly?
Families can split funeral costs in several ways, and an open conversation early helps avoid conflict. Some divide the bill equally among siblings, some contribute in proportion to means, and some use the estate or insurance first. Have one person sign the contract and keep receipts, then agree on how others will reimburse that person and by what date. Writing the agreement down, even in a short email, prevents misunderstandings later. What to do: write down the agreed plan, ask the funeral home about payment options and timelines, and consider choosing a service that fits the lowest comfortable budget so no one feels stretched.