Short answer: In the Jewish tradition, burial usually takes place as soon as practical, usually within a day or a few days. The person's body is washed, wrapped in simple shrouds and never left alone. After burial comes shiva, a seven-day period of mourning. Practices vary by community, so please ask your rabbi.
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What generally happens between death and burial in the Jewish tradition?
Practices vary
Jewish communities include Orthodox, Conservative, Reform, Reconstructionist and secular families, and customs differ. This page describes broadly shared practices. Please ask your rabbi or your local Jewish burial society.
In many Jewish communities, a person who has passed is not left alone until burial. A volunteer, called a shomer or shomeret, sits with the person's body, often reciting psalms. This custom shows respect.
Burial happens as soon as practical, often within a day or two, though it can be delayed to let family travel. In traditional practice, funerals are not held on the Sabbath (Shabbat) or on major holidays. This timing is why families should contact their rabbi quickly.
Traditionally, a group of trained volunteers called the chevra kadisha washes and dresses the person's body in a ritual called tahara. The person's body is wrapped in plain white linen shrouds, and placed in a simple wooden casket. Many communities also ask for a casket without metal.
Between death and burial, close family members are in a stage called aninut. During this time, the focus is on arrangements, and mourning rituals begin after the burial.
Who leads a funeral in the Jewish tradition?
A rabbi, cantor or trained community leader usually leads the service. Funeral homes with Jewish experience, and the local chevra kadisha, often coordinate with the family.
Family members may give a eulogy, called a hesped. Friends and relatives often act as pallbearers, and many communities invite those present to help fill the grave.
What are the typical service elements in the Jewish tradition?
- Keriah: a tearing of a garment, or a torn ribbon, by close relatives as a sign of grief.
- Psalms and prayers, including El Malei Rachamim, a prayer for the soul of the person who has passed.
- Hesped: a eulogy by the rabbi, family or friends.
- Procession to the grave, with pauses to recite psalms in some communities.
- Burial: mourners often take turns placing earth in the grave with a shovel.
- Kaddish: the mourner's prayer, said by mourners at graveside and in the weeks and months that follow.
- Meal of condolence: friends or neighbors often prepare a meal for the mourners after the burial.
What does the Jewish tradition say about cremation, embalming, autopsy and organ donation?
| Topic | General approach |
|---|---|
| Cremation | Discouraged or not permitted in Orthodox and Conservative communities. Reform communities are more accepting. Ask your rabbi. |
| Embalming | Traditionally not done. Some viewing and cosmetic practices are also avoided. Ask your rabbi or chevra kadisha. |
| Autopsy | Generally avoided unless required by law or needed to save a life. Orthodox communities may ask the rabbi to help. |
| Organ donation | Many rabbis encourage it to save lives. Some require rabbinic consultation. Ask your rabbi. |
Because Jewish communities differ, there is a wide range. A Reform family may choose cremation, while an Orthodox family would not. If your family has differing views, a rabbi can often help.
What are the mourning customs in the Jewish tradition?
Mourning has stages. The first is shiva, a period of seven days beginning on the day of the burial. Mourners stay home, receive visitors and pray together. Visitors bring food and offer comfort.
Shloshim is the thirty days following burial. For a parent, mourning continues for a year, and Kaddish is traditionally said for eleven months. Many families consecrate a headstone at an unveiling, often within the first year. Practices vary, and some Reform and secular families keep shorter observances.
Each year on the anniversary, called a yahrzeit, many families light a memorial candle and say Kaddish.
What can guests expect, and what should they wear?
Guests of all faiths are welcome. At a traditional funeral, men may be offered a head covering (kippah). Women often wear modest clothing. Dark or subdued clothing is common.
Flowers are often not used in traditional services. Many families ask for donations to charity instead. Check the obituary.
When visiting a shiva home, it is customary to wait for the mourner to speak first. Bring food if appropriate, speak quietly, and share a memory. Visits are usually short.
At the cemetery, a stone is sometimes placed on the grave as a sign of respect. You do not have to do this.
How do I tell a funeral home about the Jewish tradition needs?
Timing matters in a Jewish funeral. Call the funeral home and your rabbi early and share these points.
- Say you want a Jewish funeralAsk whether the home has experience, or whether a Jewish funeral home or chevra kadisha is nearby.
- Ask for tahara and shroudsAsk the chevra kadisha, or the home, how it can be arranged.
- Request a simple wooden casketMany ask for one without metal.
- Tell them to avoid embalming and cosmetic workUnless the law requires it.
- Share the Sabbath and holiday limitsThe rabbi can help choose the day.
- Ask about a shomerSomeone to stay with the person's body until burial.
- Choose a cemeteryMany communities prefer a Jewish cemetery or section.
What if our family is not observant?
Many Jewish families are not strictly observant and still want a Jewish funeral. Rabbis, Jewish funeral homes and the chevra kadisha are used to this and are usually welcoming. Share what feels right to you and ask what is possible.
If you are not sure what your family wants, a rabbi can walk you through the choices, such as the type of casket, the timing, whether to have a eulogy and how to observe shiva. You can adapt the observance to your family while still keeping its heart.
Frequently asked questions
Why is a Jewish funeral so quick?
Prompt burial is a way of honoring the person who has passed. It can be delayed for family travel or legal reasons.
What is shiva?
It is a seven-day period of mourning after burial, when family gathers at home and friends visit to comfort them.
Do Jewish funerals have open caskets?
Traditionally, no. The casket is closed.
Are flowers appropriate?
Often not in traditional communities. Donations to charity are common. Check with the family.
How do I plan an interfaith funeral or memorial service?
An interfaith service blends elements from more than one tradition, and the key is open conversation with family and the people leading the service. Decide what matters most to your loved one and to each family member, such as readings, prayers, music, or rituals. Some officiants are experienced at interfaith ceremonies, and some venues are open to guest clergy. What to do: speak with one or two officiants about their approach, share a draft program with family before the day, and keep the service simple and respectful of each tradition represented.
Can a funeral home arrange clergy or a place of worship?
Funeral homes can often help you contact clergy or celebrants and may host services in their own chapel, but they do not replace a place of worship. If your family belongs to a congregation, contact the clergy early to learn about their policies, scheduling, and any fees. Some places of worship hold funerals for members only, while others welcome families who are not regular attendees but share the faith. What to ask: ask your clergy about available dates and requirements, and ask the funeral home whether they coordinate with the place of worship, music, and cemetery on the day.
Do all religions allow cremation?
No single answer applies to every religion, and practices vary by tradition and by community. Some faiths accept cremation, some discourage or limit it, and others leave the choice to the family. Different branches or congregations within the same religion may also hold different views. Because of this variation, it is best not to assume, and a respectful question to a faith leader is almost always welcome. What to do: ask your clergy member, faith leader, or a trusted elder about your tradition's guidance, and tell the funeral provider about any religious requirements so arrangements can respect them.
How soon after a death are funeral services held in different traditions?
Timing varies widely by tradition, family, and logistics, and there is no single rule. Some communities hold services within a day or two, while others wait several days to allow relatives to travel. Local laws, medical examiner involvement, and cemetery schedules can also affect timing. Because customs differ, check with your own community, and remember that many families adjust timing to fit travel and the availability of the officiant, the venue, and the cemetery. What to ask: ask your clergy or community leader about customary timing, tell the funeral provider early about any time preferences, and confirm what flexibility the provider and cemetery have.
Who can officiate a funeral if our family is not religious?
A funeral can be led by a clergy member, a celebrant, a funeral director, or a trusted family member or friend, depending on your wishes. Many families without a specific faith choose a professional celebrant who writes and leads a personal ceremony. Some funeral homes can recommend officiants, and some states have rules about who may sign legal documents. What to ask: ask the funeral home about officiant options and fees, ask each candidate about their approach and experience, and share stories about your loved one so the ceremony reflects their life.
What if family members hold different beliefs about the funeral?
When family members hold different beliefs, the most helpful approach is to listen to each person and look for elements everyone can accept. Start by identifying what your loved one wished, if known, and which parts of the service matter most to each relative. A neutral officiant, a private family moment, or two separate gatherings can sometimes help, and there is rarely only one right way to honor a person. What to do: hold a calm conversation before the funeral director meeting, write down shared priorities, and consider asking a trusted clergy member or family counselor to help find common ground.